On Paper

I don't know how many times I've crossed paths with graphic novels and illustrations, either on the internet or in local bookstores (Fully Booked and Booksale). They're all so pleasing to the eyes, with the right colors on the right places and just the right amount of humor and sadness in the stories that come with them. Some are calmly shaded but is portrayed by a violent story, and vice-versa. I don't know when my penchant for graphic novels and comics actually started, but I'm pretty sure Winx Club and Archie cradled my initiation as an avid follower. I don't know why I ever stopped reading them, when I used to have so many issues. Eleven years after, I could no longer find them, not even in the deepest trenches of my grandfather's house. 

Now, like an emergency call from the past, I've once again immersed myself deep in the throes of the internet to find these gems.

1. Adrian Tomine

I first saw Adrian Tomine's art a year ago, when I was randomly scanning through Fully Booked's art section. His New York Postcards caught my eye with its seemingly bubblegum-esque mood. It features a girl sitting on train, looking over the window while holding her book across her face. He has also collaborated with The New Yorker, showcasing fifteen of his illustrations. 

Hi ongoing comic series, Optic Nerve, has been on my wishlist for so long now, alongside Killing and Dying. 

Published by Drawn and Quarterly in 1995, the Optic Nerve series has come a long way over the years, featuring different stories of people. Romantic, identity, and even familial crises are present in these mini stories, and it's pretty neat. 

His most recent work, Killing and Dying, which deals with heartache and the unabashed exploration of loss, was critically acclaimed last year. Its ambitiously creative plot instantly pulls that tiny string that somehow brings me back to the Dark Times I used to (desperately) crawl through just to get to the other side. Drama aside, it's exponentially great to think that I have this in my possession.

      

What really is amazing about his work is his explicit description of fixation in his illustrations. These portraits of girls fixated over their points of preference is somehow parallel to how I move around foreign environments, or even in my room.They remind me so much of those train rides I would take; I would stare out the window and I imagine someone doing a sketch of my figure. (I know I'm not the only one who does this.) I love how these portraits directly imply how Tomine pays close attention to his surroundings. 

2. Nick Drnaso

I found this from Drawn and Quarterly, which features mostly teenagers from a local suburb. It's a satirical take on lost souls, with the bleak representation of being an outcast in your own town. another artist who's not a big fan of violent reds and blues, Nick Drnaso especially caught my taste. Beverly's cover itself is speaking so much about what it tells you, and I can't help but feel that this is a slightly comical version of the Coen brothers' film, Fargo. 

There are some elements of quiet violence within each panel, and you might just agree with me; the adolescents in this feature are normally just repressed bodies of brutality.

The barren look of the setting, funny how it is, perfectly represents how I feel about my life as a college student, and how dry I've been feeling lately. Drnaso completely impressed me with his shrewd language that resembles a David Lynch film. His art itself, without any dialogue, sends you to an almost extreme preciseness, without ever being ambiguous. I mean, that's how everyone should be like, right? Sugarcoating is not his forte, and I've never read such atrocious and relentless honesty. I would absolutely die to have this.

3. Craig Thompson

I remember loosing my shit when I first saw this at Fully Booked, almost two years ago. as per usual, I did not have enough money to get it, and promised myself I would come back for it the next week. I came back and and it was nowhere to be found. It was sold out, obviously. After that, I never saw it again. So it's kind of an impossible hunt for me, close two years and I still don't have it. It's shameful, really, because it has such a rich story about Craig, a young man, in the search for his true self, while simultaneously falling in love with a girl named Raina.

                  

The usual revealing-oneself-to-the-other, it still screams unconventionality, with its imaginative visualization through Thompson's wild brushstrokes. I'm still longing to see how the characters' inner demons resurfaced through the gentle-to-turbulent transition of the doodles that surrounded them. Familiarity to heartbreak was never this graphic, as D&Q would like to put it. 

I'm not always a big fan of love stories on comics or graphic novels, but when I am, I make sure that it's this compelling, even though I haven't read it yet. It's also VERY nice to know that the writer wrote the novel as away of coming out to his parents, and no longer being a Christian. Imagine how gratifying it is to read something about redemption--which I need(!!!).

4. Shigeru Mizuki

Japanese history was never this exciting for me, and as an ardent believer in the power of history and its study (Ma'am De Castro taught me well), I find this absolutely, tremendously, appealing both to the eyes and the mind. I've been following documentaries on National Geographic (thanks to my dad) and accidentally finding these is such a great feeling!!! 

I don't like Hitler at all, and I don't support any of the things he's done, and to read this would categorically help me fuel my hate more. Especially now that we, in the Philippines, have a potential Trump and/or Hitler as presidential candidate. 

This book centers on the life of Hitler as a starving art student in Austria, to building Germany only to leave it in ruins. With cartoony characters circling around the enigma that is Adolf, everything seems so entertaining, when it's really a despairing tale. Which is rad, because 1) it's from a Japanese writer; and 2) Japanese writers are the best in juxtaposing stories through their art!!!

This other novel by the same author, Mizuki, on the other hand, serves as a semi-autobiography. As a Japanese army veteran, he tells the story of what was then a militant Japan and United States.

I saw some previews, and it somehow resembles the air that surrounded Hitler. Tense yet full of life because of the funny-looking characters on scenes that depict everyday humor. As an historical account of Japan during the Showa period, it sends the reader some kind of motivation to learn more about Japan. (Because Asian studies are, for me, the best. Sonorous, violent, and very cultural.)

Economy and trade were also tackled, with friendly illustrations that won't confuse the readers. It's such a joy to read an account of what used to be a bulwark of communism.

Definitely a must HAVE.

5. Jillian Tamaki

First started as a webcomic, SuperMutant Magic Academy recites the antics and adventures of lizard-headed Trixie with her fellow mutant classmates.

Brilliantly told through the eyes of a writer whose affinity for young adult stories never seems to go away, it gently reminds us of the woes we used to have as small children, or even as pre-adolescents. Life in the Academy could sometimes be so dull, and it naturally feels like death. As a girl whose middle school life verges from Unbearable to Actual Death, I find this very interesting. It's supplemental to go back and reminisce for one to actually grow up.

Filled with the usual angst everyone used to feel back then, it's a miraculous work from Tamaki. She just saved us all and we don't even know it yet.

I just wish I had enough credit on my card...

Reactions

A lot of things happened in a span of 4 weeks and all I could say is: I'M TIRED; but it's all  worth it. There have been a lot of plot twists I'd have to deal with (read: my grade in Physics) and it's kind of traumatizing. Being a senior is not a joke; you always feel like you are running out of time and every time you hear a ticking sound, it's like there's this cosmic clock following you everywhere and all of a sudden just stand there and zone out for the next 3 minutes and think about what you're doing. But zoning out is not a very ideal thing to do when you're chasing deadlines and cutting every sleeping hour you got. So to sum up this thought I'm trying to lay down in words, I've been dodging off these ~plot twists~ just so I could do all the things I'm required to do. In short, just move on and get on with it. But of course 97% of you don't even know what I'm talking about so let's just talk about other "things":

• IT IS FINALLY OUT. I literally jumped around the house for two minutes the moment I saw this. Because a year and six months ago, I was just poring all over this book in a couch and not it's a movie AND I JUST. I can't wait for this movie and its poisonous plot. The book is very important to me and by "very", I mean very. It stayed with me, with my whole being. I read this on my fifteenth birthday, which is very special because I received the gift of understanding the implications of loving someone. So I'm expecting a tear-jerker right here. I'm really hoping the movie would live up the standards of the book. But I think I don't need to worry because I have a strong feeling this movie will be great.

"ONE SICK OVE STORY" Was that a pun HAHAHAHA

• One of the worse things that happened to me is not being able to catch up with the books I'm reading. I have a lot of unfinished novels and that makes me sad because I can't just leave my schoolwork hanging everywhere. I'm done with that phase (naks). Remember that post I made about being productive during sembreak? Well that plan didn't really work out because all I ever did was sleep and do unproductive things like... sleep. But since 2013 is almost done... well, what's a good 6 hours of non-stopreading, right? Hehe. 

Finally got a hold of this baby! But like what I said, I stopped reading for a while because I have a thesis to finish, a subject to ~avenge~ and performance tasks to gurgle over. I'm no in the middle of the novel (thanks for Christmas vacations) and this novel actually influenced me to order Gingerbread Latte at Starbucks because 1) Gingerbread Lattes are great 2) It's a featured Starbucks beverage for Christmas which can help you earn stickers, by the way on the left side (probably the hardest set of stickers to earn because you never know if the featured beverage is good or bad or whatevs) and; 3) Please refer to numbers 1 and 2. 

And that's how you relate books to lattes and stickers. Kidding.

Also, my never-ending desire to own a physical copy of Palahniuk's work might come to an end because IT'S CHRISTMAS. Christmas means free money and I think I could snatch a few bucks from my allowance to buy a copy or two? Because if I did, then I would probably give myself a pat in the back for purchasing something so precious. Also Eugenides' The Virgin Suicides! I've read it, yes, but owning a physical copy keeps on plugging at my heart because that book is so sad that I want to keep it forever somewhere in a corner; in case I forget to feel something. A sad book is a good start for remembering...

I know what you're thinking. That scary clown who walks around a small town somewhere in England. This is the first time I'm going to read Stephen King's work. This 1987 novel shows the real meaning of memory and childhood trauma. I love horror. But people say the ending will you cry like a baby. I love how mysterious this novel is. And yup, I am planning to finish this a-thousand-and-ninety wonder. 

• I SAW UP DHARMA DOWN LIVE!!!! In my school!!!! This time it's pretty special because I was with my friends and you know, good friends + good music = perfect match. And I can't help but feel giddy because they sang all my favorite songs!!! God bless this band, really. The crowd was great, they kept on singing the lyrics. I missed concerts and small shows like this. Makes me feel less sad. Even though UDD's songs scream sadness and unrequited love. I still can't stop thinking about their set. I want to see them again.
• You should see the movie Stuck In Love. I've known this movie for almost a year now, but it took me quite a while to see it. It's a very touching movie about uhh, love, and how scary it is. I loved Nat Wolff. He is now in my To Do List. HEH. But seriously, his acting is great and speaking of Nat Wolff, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM PLAY ISAAC IN THE TFIOS MOVIE!!! But okay, back to the movie. Uhh, this movie made me cry JUST BECAUSE. I don't know, the emotions were so strong and I thought this movie was one of those without predictable stories (it kind of is) but I really loved it. Please see it now. 
• I made nine mixtapes for my good friends. It's been two years since the mixtape drama with this guy and I guess this time I'm kind of happy with what I did??? I guess this is how I see vengeance and anger: NO MIXTAPE FOR HIM. 

So that's it for now, I guess? Sorry for being so lame. This has been a very great year. Traumatic, yeah, but very memorable. And I just realized that I wan't talking about current events that are happening around us. These are things that are happening to me. 

Finally have something worth telling a story about, LOL. 

Art School

I finally finished this book! (And, might I add that I finally own this book. I started reading this in Fully Booked and yup, I never bought it. I would like to send my deepest apologies to Fully Booked for abusing my rights and privileges as a reader. I promise to see myself as  a better individual and most importantly, in this case, as a consumer. Anyway, it's looking good with all the other books in my self-proclaimed bookshelf.) (More of that in the future.) 

This book is good. Nothing more, nothing less. Sure the word "good" doesn't give it justice but I think this is one of those things that when given more compliments, it becomes nauseatingly bad and irksome. It's like giving a child too much of what he wants; and it's bad for his health. Don't get me wrong, I loved this book. I gave it five stars in Goodreads. The characters are so... true and  the author did a pretty great job in telling the story of the alienating adult world. Decisions, the pressure, realizations and the fear of growing up. 

Colby and Bev have a long-standing pact: graduate, hit the road with Bev's band, and then spend the year wandering around Europe. But moments after the tour kicks off, Bev makes a shocking announcement: she's abandoning their plans - and Colby - to start college in the fall. 
 But the show must go on and The Disenchantments weave through the Pacific Northwest, playing in small towns and dingy venues, while roadie- Colby struggles to deal with Bev's already-growing distance and the most important question of all: what's next?

The alternate cover. 

And of course there's always The Perfect Actress/Actor for This Character. Lily Loveless has always been Bev for me. The girl on the cover, the one wearing the yellow cardigan, is gorgeous and perfect BUT THIS IS LILY LOVELESS. Her metallic blonde hair and SHE'S LILY FREAKING LOVELESS. (And no, I'm not going to talk about Skins and Naomi and Emily right now.)

Also, I can't stop thinking about the VW van, Melinda. In my head, it's this robin's egg blue van, pretty old with a few rusts in the delicate sides. (No picture for you to see what I mean, I want you to visualize it on your own hehe.) It's my favorite object in the book. I don't know, I think it's because we used to own a red one. I used to ride in it with my uncle and it was very glorious, wow??? He'd pick me up in school with that van. I miss it so much and I think that's why I fell in love with this book? I regret not giving it a name like it was my pet, like it was mine. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE MY FAMILY SOLD IT TO SOME STRANGER IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD. HEY FAMILY I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS, I'M STILL MAD. 

Anyway, watching book trailers is not my hobby but this one gave me an idea about the places they've been, the people they met and the things they did. Turns out that it's pretty close to what I was imagining while reading hehehe. 

And of course, the soundtrack of the whole trip. This is my first time to hear this song and wow, why am I not a fan of girl bands? Then came The Marvelettes and Heart. I have yet to listen to their music but I think the way Alexa and Meg drools over these bands, I know they won't disappoint. 
I wish to encounter another novel like this: vibrant and screaming with music. Thank God for Nina LaCour. You should definitely read this book. 

Love Will Tear Us Apart

"Bono met his wife in high school," Park says.
"So did Jerry Lee Lewis," Eleanor answers.
"I’m not kidding," he says.
"You should be," she says, "we’re sixteen."
"What about Romeo and Juliet?"
"Shallow, confused, then dead."
''I love you," Park says.
"Wherefore art thou," Eleanor answers.
"I’m not kidding," he says.
"You should be."

Rainbow Rowell's Eleanor & Park is one of the reasons why I think I'm gonna die alone, even though my music taste is exceptional. Kidding. Judging from the book cover, you can say that this novel focuses on the point of view of two teenagers exploring the music scene. And the fact that the story is set on the August of 1986 makes it all better and original, I don't know. Two young adults find each other weird and interesting enough to sit next to each other in the school bus. The other one falls in love with the ~other one~ and I guess you could say it's one hell of a story blah blah blah. 

OH AND PARK IS KOREAN which makes everything different and cute at the same time, although I don't really know how to explain it. There is no "Why the hell is Park Korean?" thing going on because that's just the way it is, Park is Korean. And can I just say that the root of all things between Eleanor & Park were comics and music and this glorious walkman!!! And the number of times Joy Division's Love Will Tear Us Apart appeared was totally exceptional, I don't know why. 

(photo not mine)

I don't know about you but the perfect Park Sheridan for me is this guy!!! I don't know why but I guess it's because I've seen him somewhere and the moment I read that Park was Korean his face suddenly popped out of nowhere and okay, JUST PERFECT. I forgot his name but oh well. He is Park Sheridan because 1) his hair; 2) his eyes; 3) HIS EVERYTHING.

Anyway this book gave me so much feels (I'm not even done reading yet!) and I think you should read this. I've been itching to read this since April and it finally happened so praise Jesus. 

ME WHILE READING THE BOOK NO SHAME 

I can't wait to finish this book and tell you what I think about it. 

Fully Booked ATC

Fully Booked ATC is finally open and I am beyond happy! It opened last June 7th, 2013 and I was one of the first few people to visit the newly-opened bookstore and it felt so glorious because HEY FULLY BOOKED IS FINALLY OPEN GOD BLESS. Too bad people weren't allowed to take pictures. Luckily, I found a perfect reading spot behind this post near the aircon hehehe. 

These were the books I found interesting and God, that place is like my "to-read" library in goodreads, I want to cry. Seriously, all the works of goodreads authors are stored in every shelf, especially the YA section!!! It's like the gates of heaven. To make a long story short, you should really pay this place a visit if you don't want to miss out.

I was supposed to read this but then I already started on Eleanor & Park. Maybe next time. Hope I could own a physical copy, though!

FINALLY. VICTORY CRY. I can't seem to find a .pdf file of this baby and then I found this lying around in a table and then bam, I'm already halfway through the book. 

I then found these kiddy books. I think I'm this close to calling myself a spy because I found Wally in less than a minute. Like thirty seconds per page HAHAHA I have great eyesight (except no not really). And this pop-up book! Too bad it's too expensive, it's so cute and artsy and it's LONDON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. It has this genius feature wherein you can see drawings and facts behind the pop-ups. It costs 800 pesos, I think my heart skipped a beat. 

(I also read this journal about Kurt Cobain and it has a lot of things inside like attached concert tickets, a mask, free DVD, a rip-off of Kurt Cobain's journal, stickers, the works. I really love it but then again let us remember that I am broke and I have no other choice but to put it back in its shelf.) 

The enormity

I went to ATC all by myself (again) because I'm so bored and I feel like screaming. Joke. Well the day was spent well because I basically stayed in Powerbooks the whole day reading a book. It was Everyday by David Levithan. I know I'm a little too late to catch up on this novel but the novel was pretty good. Not that thrilling, exciting and "meaningful" like other books by the same author but I liked it. (This is just an opinion please don't send me death threats, thank you.) 

I finished the book in approximately 8 hours. Or so. ~No regrets just love~ Anyway, my stay in the said bookstore was very interesting. I just realized that sitting in one corner can give you a free story from strangers. Eavesdropping is bad but I have ears and that can't be avoided because ~I have ears~. 

There was this guy talking to the lady from UNICEF (they're having this campaign in Powerbooks, inviting people to help) and he said he lives in Singapore and his voice sounds handsome and I had the feeling that he was rich. And then there were these two people walking around the store. I noticed the girl first because I was sitting on the floor and when I looked up the first thing I saw were....................her legs and her ridiculous high heels. Her toes look so scary, it looked like she pushed it too hard inside her pumps??? And they were speaking in loud voices and their English is so bad I want to cry. You tried. And then there's this old lady who looked me in the eye and smiled at me. Then I saw someone from school and I know him so I formed a curtain using my hair because I don't want him to see me and I don't want to say hi. 

Then my dad arrived and he talked to the people from UNICEF. And then we had Pepper Lunch for dinner. HEHEHEHEE

Anyway, while we were about to to leave I saw Fully Booked and it was beautiful huhu. So many lights it looked like it was open to the public. I don't know about you but Fully Booked is my favorite place in Manila ehehe. I was actually thinking about spending my birthday here, if it's possible. I'm not even kidding. 

I hope this place opens soon because if not I am going to punch a tree. AND if this place hasn't opened yet on my birthday I will call my fairy and mermaid army to start a revolution. 

Secret Ceremonials

Being in the Philippines on the month of April may be considered "fun" and "adventurous" for others, especially if you're from a foreign country BUT (emphasis is necessary) for me, it has been very boring. Sure, it's already summer and I can now finally do anything like go out, explore places and eat out with friends. The exact opposite is happening and I feel like a loser at home with nothing to do. So like: 

People: Going to the beach tomorrow! 

Me: Oh my god I have to download this movie!

People: Movie later with friends...

Me: This album sounds great, I have to give it a full listen

People: *Insert foreign country here*!!! Flight tomorrow at 5 am, can't wait!

Me: *finished 5 seasons of a certain TV show* *finished 2 seasons of another TV show*  

Me: THIS T.V. SHOW IS RUINING MY LIFE UGH I LOVE THEM ALL!!!

Me: Oops it's 4 pm, time to listen to music and cry!!!

Me: I have to finish this book!!!

SEE? But okay, I admit, it's fun to wake up at 11 am. It's fun not hearing your alarm clock beeping. It's fun, fun, FUN. (I sound like an old man.)

Anyway, I've been reading quite a lot lately and I'm loving it because I've been feeling empty and illiterate lately, hahaha. 

(I'm sorry if this turns out to be bad but I'm trying.)

The Realm of Possibility by David Levithan

"One school. Twenty voices.

Endless possibilities.

There's the girl who is in love with Holden Caulfield. The boy who wants to be strong who falls for the girl who's convinced she needs to be weak. The girl who writes love songs for a girl she can't have. The two boys teetering on the brink of their first anniversary. And everyone in between."

The moment I read the name Holden Caulfield, I went crazy. You have no idea how much I love The Catcher in the Rye. I immediately searched google for a .pdf file and thank God, I found one. Praise the book gods. If you're into poetry and prose and all that jazz, this is the book for you. This book is consisted of five parts with four chapters, each representing a narrative form of story-telling. (Are my terms even accurate...)

This is the kind of book that make word-lovers swoon. I, myself, swooned. No shame. The author did a good job on combining the words and phrases.

If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin

"Throughout their whole childhood, Finn and Autumn were inseparable—they finished each other's sentences, they knew just what to say when the other person was hurting. But one incident in middle school puts them in separate social worlds come high school, and Autumn has been happily dating James for the last 2 years. But she's always wondered what if...

The night she's about to get the answer is also one of terrible tragedy."

(Published on April 1st, 2013)

I'm not yet done reading this book but if you're into a lot of surprises and and all that young adult craze, then you should give this a try. I'm /almost/ done and I'm loving the story and characters more and more. Especially Phineas U G H. Why can't fictional characters come to life? 

AND YES!!! This has been the highlight of my week and OH MY GOD MY FEELINGS. It all started yesterday when someone tweeted "Some Kind Of Wonderful!" And I kind of screamed because THAT MOVIE AHHHHH. You don't know how much I love that movie because 1.) It's MY life story (joke only, but yeah you get the picture); 2.) IT JUST GETS ME YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. So anyway I watched the movie and the pains of being a teenager with unstoppable hormones came back. This is movie is so perfect it made me cry I'm not even ashamed of it, OKAY. 

(Also my John Hughes phase came back. I don't know but somewhere between October to December I kind of worshipped him and there came a point in my life that I don't know anymore and so I would watch Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club to keep myself grounded. And then I would sing 80's songs out of nowhere and wow I think I'm doing that again? And then I had these dreams of having Molly Ringwald's style and face and Molly Ringwald's everything??? DO YOU FEEL ME.) 

But okay back to this legendary movie. 

UGH JESUS LOOK AT THE WAY KEITH LOOKS AT HER MY GOD THAT FACE COULD SAVE THE HUMANKIND.

You know that scene :-( When Watts drove them all around the town :-( Hahaha, I know. :-(  

So if you're wondering... yes this movie is the story of my life HAHAHA. I know so cheesy and sappy and sticky and romantic and I know right, so not me. But I'm going to repeat it again, this movie made me bawl like a freaking baby and I know it sounds corny but I have this feeling for old movies. I may be embarrassing myself here but... HAHAHA. OMG :-( 

This may be a boring summer but I'm spending it damn well. 

Long Live

I never really got the chance to blog before 12 midnight, but it doesn't matter. I just really felt the need to say this because this deserves a blog post. 

(PHOTO OVERLOAD)

I am thankful for all the things that happened to me this year. May it be good or bad, at least I earned something. I don't what that "something" is, but I know it's there. The people around me never fail to make me a better (and sexier JOKE) person. From the "last year's wishes are this year's apologies" Fall Out Boy craze to the "maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year" All Time Low ruckus. (I sound gay???)

Exactly a year ago, January 3, I had a haircut. My hair was so short. I don't know what's the relevance but I regretted my decision of cutting my hair. I somewhat looked like my four-year-old self because of my hair-do. Everyone was ~shocked~ because...hair. And I hated it. I hate what my hair looked like and most importantly I hated what my face looked like. I'm like a hybrid between an  siomai and a siopao and a marshmallow which made me look stupid. But my hair grew longer over a year so everything is normal now and nothing hurts heeeeeee.

Last year was also filled with surprises. Literal surprises. My best friend, Sam, loves surprising people and just my luck, she always drags me around with her. Surprising people is very tiring and it's full of stress but it's fun. And the biggest surprise was when my batch won the cheering competition! We weren't really champions but we felt like real winners because we were 2nd place and the higher level is only 3rd. I sound mean, right? But it was a glorious moment for my batch. Of course the Seniors are the champions but we still felt cool and great and all the positive adjectives you could think of. And then I went to Makati with my friends to celebrate like real winners teehee.

February was a very important month for me because LIV5!!! Sam and I went together which was very overwhelming because it's my very first concert with her (I wasn't with Sam during LIV3 aww.) I felt great because my favorite bands got to play live in Manila and I can't believe my eyes!!! I saw The Summer Set, The Ready Set, A Rocket to the Moon, FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS and A+ Dropouts live!!! It was one hell of a show, especially because I was with my best friend weee.

March was... depressing. And frustrating. I hate talking about this because whenever I think about it, all I want to do is punch myself because of the guilt, hate and regret. REGRETS. So here's the story (there goes my heart): Sam and I weren't planning on seeing The Maine's second show here in Manila because 1) we have no money and 2) we have no chance (GOD IT'S REALLY PAINFUL TO THINK OF.) So we decided to go to their hotel--Discovery Suites, in Ortigas. We arrived there and the lobby was already full of hopeful fans waiting for the band and hoping for an autograph or a picture or, if they're lucky enough, a radical conversation with them plus a big hug. Me and Sam were expecting the same. We tried and tried to get past the security guards since we're not allowed inside. Finally because of my ninja skills, we got in. In fact the people outside kind of got in because of me because I opened the door with all my might while the guard wasn't looking and when I signaled Sam to go with me, the people behind us followed, too! Cool beans. So we got inside. We went around the building. Hell, we even got to the breakfast hall and the 42nd floor (where their conference was held!!!). So to make all less painful, yes, we did not see them. Not even a shadow, not even a strand of hair, not even a speck of their entire being. 

In short, we got home disappointed and frustrated and mad and furious and regretful and sad and JUST SAD. On a lighter note, summer vacation!!!

April was all about vacation and the beach. I went to Enchanted Kingdom with my classmates and it was a very eventful day for me. I got to spend a very long time with them and also, I rode the Space Shuttle for the very first time! It was scary because the moment we were on the loop, I felt my insides churning and it's like my whole being is being pulled over by a lever or something. But what really got me was the thrill, which makes me want to to come back for more! Definitely doing that again in the next future.  My dad and I went to Cagayan De Oro and killed time seeing places and eating and eating and just eating. I tried scuba diving, too! It was so fun! I got to see the ~underwater wonders~ and it made me so proud of our country for having such vast wonders hehe. 

May was pretty uneventful but we went to Caramoan. It was a nice place but the means of transportation of going there is pretty...stressing....but it was nice, like I said.

JUNE IS ABOUT BIRTHDAYS AND ME. I spend my birthday every June and my fifteenth birthday was spent wise and simple. My mom sent me flowers and my dad gave me a book as a gift. We ate good food--RIBS AND RIBS AND RIBS! Also Sam's birthday. She just turned fourteen. Well my best friend is growing up so fast. She's getting older. I hope she becomes taller~~

Also the concerts~ I saw We are The In Crowd+This Century+Set Your Goals live!!! yayyyyy

July & August-pretty uneventful. I love August because there was this one time we had no classes for a whole week hehehe. ALSO THE FACT THAT I'M COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS TIL SEPTEMBER 29 BECAUSE I WON A MEET & GREET WITH THE MAINE!!! I wasn't really expecting to win so when I found out I lay down and and jumped and cried tears of joy and scratched my face and pulled my hair and screamed. Pretty much.

SEPTEMBER 29 & 30 CAME AND OH MY GOD. Bazooka Rocks Fest!!! I met The Maine and YEAH. AND THEN THE NEXT DAY CAME! It was the best concert I've been to huhu. I cried a lot of tears that day because I wasn't able to contain myself and my happiness cannot be explained. I myself cannot believe it, either. My whole being cannot believe it. I completely lost it. I forgot about everything, every problem and just everything. 

This is DEFINITELY my favorite part of the year. I even like this better than my birthday hehe. I wasn't sad anymore. I was happy and complete and I felt contained. Really.

So that's it. That's definitely my highlight. But wait. My 2012 wouldn't be complete without these and I'm very thankful to have them in my life. I know I won't lose them this 2013 since I know these people will stay and be a part of my life. I sound so cheesy huhu. But anyway, they mean a lot to me and I hope I mean a lot to them, too. 

 I may or may not have forgot to upload some photos with other people but that's not important. I'm thankful to have all these people and I hope 2013 for them will be great because they're my friends. Not all of my friends' pictures are here but while I'm writing this down, they're on my mind and I'm silently hugging them for making my 2012 awesome.

Also:

 This was the very first carbonara I made in my whole, entire existence. I was very proud of myself. Definitely a highlight.

 Retreat. This wishing fountain or whatever you call it made me think about everything. 

 I've read this novel since 2010 and of course, I wouldn't let 2012 pass by without re-reading this again. I just can't.

 Hands down for this book. 

I've read a lot of amazing novels last year and all of them have a special place in my heart. Sam thing with movies. There are lots and lots of them, I might run out of words to describe them all. 

Friendly reminders from The Maine. 

2012 was definitely the best year for me...yet. I would definitely look back on this year and remind myself that not all things are horrible. 

Here's to 2012

2012 deserves a fist in the air from Bender.