JUST ONE MOMENT YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT A SAD STORY

3 more hours and 2013 will be over. I can't believe it. This year will be another blur for all of us but let us not forget the things that happened to us, good and bad. There were good ones, too good you want to stay in that moment forever, and there were bad. Too bad, you can't even stand the feeling you get when it crosses your mind. But without the bad, you won't learn. So I'm very thankful for this year. It has been a traumatizing one, I tell you. There's the pressure created by school, people leaving, typhoons paying our country a visit etc., etc. So let this year be a lesson to us all. And let this year remind us that *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟafter a hurricane, there comes a rainbow *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟThis is too cliché, but it's true. You can always make up for every mistake you've done, for every bad decision you made, for every word you've said. That's the essence of new years. It's a new beginning, and it's another chance for you to refresh things. Okay this sounds too sappy.

So to make this short and straight to the point, this post for everyone I know. For everyone who did good and bad to me; this is for you. This post is for the things I've done. This is for the days I found light in the darkest of times. 

2014 is going to be one hell of a ride, for reasons too complicated I cannot find the right words. I'll be seventeen in six months, can you believe it? 

So yeah.

THANK YOU. 

December Twenty-Fifth

Merry Christmas, everybody! I don't really know what this post is about...but this is a shout out to everyone who's feeling gloomy and lonely. Stop being sad, there are still a lot of Christmas eves to come! 

So...

MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU BASTARDS!!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

THANKS FOR GIVING ME 5,000++ VIEWS, I APPRECIATE IT. 

(picture credits to the rightful owner!) 

CAUGHT BENEATH THE LANDSLIDE

I guess I kind of drowned in the ocean of TV shows and movies. I really thought this sembreak would turn out great and productive but all I did was sleep and eat mac & cheese. Pretty disappointing, I know. I spent five days out of the house--slept over my aunt's house and slept over Lara's. It was fun despite the absence of Magnificent and Awesome things (we were incapable of doing such things because we don't have much money in our pockets but we managed). 

Anyway before I share dull and boring details, I would like to present to you, ladies and gentlemen, My Mad Fat Diary. Judging from the title, the show is in epistolary form, with Rae Earl (the main character) as the narrator. One word for this show: genius. Rae is this genuinely funny and witty girl who's mad for music (DEFINITELY A BIG YES) and I  can say that she's a teen goddess because 1) her view on boys is A+ and; 2) the way she looks at life is bombing through me and it screams "YES" and; 3) please refer to 1 and 2. Maybe this show is made for us confused and lost teenagers out there who like to explore the channels of teenagerism or whatever. This series is the bomb, really. All your insecurities are played like a montage and at the same time, like a an angel on your side, it tells you how to deal with things and get over it. It's very inspirational and I fell in love with how honest to the core the show is. It's not everyday you stumble upon something great on youtube. 

And I know I'm not this humanitarian who likes giving life lessons to drug addicts or whatever--given the fact that I'm not the one for giving advice because I SUCK--but after watching this show, I felt a bit more confident about myself and yup I should shut up LOL. And... you're beautiful, you really are and one day you're gonna find someone who's going to  accept you for who you are and love you unconditionally (note to self); watching this show can help you get over yourself, maybe. Maybe not. But really, THIS IS A GENIUS SHOW HUHUHU. Human beings my age should watch this, that's all. 

 ~The Gang~ 

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS HAHAHA. Apparently hugging is a no no unless you want to get friendzoned. HAHAHAHA

[DRAMATIC MUSIC] I would like you to meet this magnificent slice of bread named Finn. There are two main guys on the show, by the way. But Finn came out of nowhere and Rae is smitten all of a sudden but who can blame her?! I mean, look at him. It's like he's created by the special gods hidden on an enchanted cave or something. 

so cute (╯°□°）╯┻━┻

And can I just say that it has the best soundtrack ever? The show is set on the 90s and you know what I mean. Oasis and Radiohead, yup.

Songs from this album are used in the show, if I'm not mistaken? This is a very special album to me because it brings my body to nirvana* and hearing a song or two in this show pretty much hit me right there. This is what you call serendipity. I wasn't really looking for this particular series in the first place; I found it myself somewhere in the valley of the coolest corner of the internet and now it's carefully placed in my heart. I thank jesus everyday for this huh. 

That's all you need to know. Watch the first episode here!

*nirvana means peace okay; I wasn't talking about the band. 

Some Days

Sembreak officially starts TODAY. I never expected four months to be this short. There have been a lot of plot twists; some good, some bad. I never expected being a senior is this hard and to be completely honest with you, it's depressing. I'm always tired and sad (haha) and I've never felt such strong feelings for sleep. It's a longing feeling and it's very sad. BUT like I said, sembreak starts today and I am free to do anything I want. I kind of abandoned my blogging duties (kung meron hehe) and I feel sorry for myself because I don't know how to balance my time, not when I'm bombarded with performance tasks and deadlines. But at least I am prioritizing my responsibilities HEH. 

Anyway, I think this break is carefully engineered by Jesus himself to make up for my failed attempts to have a proper vacation and to do various summer things like going to the beach and Soaking Under The Sun, Listening To Cool Tunes (I'm still bitter over not going to the beach last summer; I really wanted to.) But this time I am armed with a lot of plans and I can't wait to share it with you!!! HOORAY. 

I wish I could post something worth reading right now but I guess I'm just so happy because there will be no school for nine days and I am truly blessed hihi. This also goes out to my batchmates who made it through this sem. Give it another hoopla and it will all be over. Basically senior year is about ~savoring~ the moment. It's the perfect time to just BE, despite the number of requirements bombarding our poor little backs. I hope you get it. 

So here's a few songs to feed this euphoric moment of realizing that there will be no school for nine. Fricking. Days.

Listen to this song. The lyrics are good and pretty relevant to what I'm going through right now... actually, no, scratch that. It's relevant to what we're going through right now. This song makes me so happy and hopeful and I don't know. I've been dwelling too much on a lot of songs; it either makes me too sad or too ecstatic to even function. It's a good thing, I guess?

Well I hope this sembreak turns out to be one of the best. I'm really looking forward to a lot of things like hanging out with my lovely friends while listening to cool songs or maybe go somewhere far (a.k.a. Baguio WOOO). I hope you have a great sembreak ahead of you! Spend it wisely! ☆＾▽＾☆

So...

...we're almost done with 2013. Give it four months and 2014 will burst out of nowhere. I know, it sounds so weird because everything happened so fast. It's like we're running 250 miles per hour and there's no stopping us. More often than not, unexpected things--bad things--happen. Believe me, it gets really hard. But I have learned something very important the past month. I don't know why I haven't thought of it in such a long time. It's living in the now that's important. Swallowing the moment's temporary atmosphere. Good or bad, it brings us something we will forever have inside: a virtue and a lesson. 

And so I would like you to watch this. It's a movie called The Spectacular Now. Starring Miles Teller and Shailene Woodley (both are in the Divergent movie, it's funny, I don't know). 

"Sutter Keely (Miles Teller) lives in the now. A high school senior, charming and self-possessed, he’s the life of the party, loves his job at a men’s clothing store, and has no plans for the future. A budding alcoholic, he’s never far from his supersized, whisky-fortified Thirst Master cup. But after being dumped by his girlfriend, Sutter gets drunk and wakes up on a lawn with Aimee Finecky (Shailene Woodley) hovering over him. She’s different: the “nice girl” who reads science fiction and doesn’t have a boyfriend. While Aimee has dreams of a future, Sutter lives in the impressive delusion of a spectacular now."

I'm not saying that planning about the future is bad. It's all about stopping and looking beyond. There's more to life than just to exist; you have to live. (Okay this sounds so cheesy and sticky and corny but I just have to let this out, yeah). 

Also, another movie! 

The first time I saw this movie... I cried. (Especially when Tessa came home form the hospital and her name was everywhere AND OKAY). Judging from the title, whatever happened in the past or what tomorrow will bring, it's always good to have now. 

Just don't be scared about the future. 

Do or Die: Part II

UPCAT two weeks ago. I was basically holding onto myself and telling myself that it isn't the end of the world, that I can do this and that, there are way too many chances for me to get in, hey stop doing that to yourself and blah blah blah BUT WHO AM I KIDDING. They said 83,000++ senior students took the UPCAT. And I wanted to go home and sleep because I can feel the pressure seeping through me and I JUST WANT TO ESCAPE. I wanted to cry and curse UP for the right-minus-wrong thing. But I can't do anything about it. "Screw it," I muttered to myself. I opened the car door and I almost fell on the slippery sidewalk. It was raining and I thought WOW IS THIS A BAD OMEN? My dad said the almost-accident took away the bad omen and that I'll do good.

And then I'm inside this room with white lights screaming that my terrible fate is nearing and that resistance is futile, I have to shade these oblongs. And so I did. It was worse than I thought but I managed to answer with pure reasoning. Trusting my instincts helped a lot so, thank you, instincts. I owe you. And goddamn, was Science hard?! My brain was jumping up and down and I was screaming inside. "What are vacuoles", "WHERE THE HELL CAN WE FIND THE MITHOCONDRIA", "do these phenotypes and genotypes really exist" "This is so stupid why do you have to know the speed of the car". 

And the rest I don't want to talk about. The five-hour exam is finally O-V-E-R over. I ate two barbecues to celebrate. This stall in front of Law Center sells good barbecue and I can see myself eating here. But then again, I still have to pass the UPCAT to eat barbecues. 

Anyway my dad and I explored the whole school for fun. One of the reasons why I want to study here is because of the number of trees surrounding the whole campus. It was amazing and so I took pictures. I felt like a tourist lost in a city. No, not a city, but a tourist lost in... her thoughts. (Wow so emo.)

The very famous Oblation. The moment I saw it, I told myself that I have to pass the UPCAT. There were goosebumps at the back of my head and I wanted to.... cry. I know, so melodramatic; so pathetic. This is my dream school. This will always be my dream school. I would have these intentional nods whenever I hear someone talk about UP. I would think about that glorious feeling. And just... okay. 

My birthday is on June 10th and I got all giddy when I saw this. Jack Barakat was born on June 18th, Pete Wentz on June 5th, my best friend, Sam, June 3rd. Magnificent things happen every month of June. I am blessed HEHEHEHEH.

can we all look at the traffic 

thank u america thank u so much

tourist photo #1 HEHEHEHE i felt so stupid when i took this photo oh my god but hey, my chucks look pretty, don't they? i love them they're my favorite

this place is so peaceful

tourist photo #2 hahahaha i'm sorry i just have to 

This is my favorite photo of all. I don't know why. I think it's the fact that you don't have to edit this photo...

COLLEGE OF ARTS & LETTERS. DID YOU KNOW THAT MY FIRST COURSE CHOICE IS ENGLISH STUDIES AND MY SECOND IS JOURNALISM? YOU DIDN'T? WELL NOW YOU DO. Okay so if the odds are in my favor, I'd be studying here and I would walk around here everyday and there are feels I can't explain. (English studies and Journalism are part of college of arts & letters right....??)

So yup. This is the prologue of my college life. 

AAAHHH

SO THIS JUST HAPPENED AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL. Well the first time I knew I was on twitter and everyone was like "okay time to save for August" and I was like, okay, what's going on? And I swear to God I felt something weird and then boom I saw this on facebook and screamed for 75 years. I don't really know how to explain what happened next but I was crying--like legit crying and sobbing and heaving. Okay judge me but I've been waiting for this to happen and I can't believe that's it's finally going to happen in three months. Three months might be a long time for others but seriously, I think I'm running out of time. Three months is an awfully short time because hello what happened to 2013, we're almost halfway done with this year and I'm just here???

Okay so enough of this now. I would like to thank that 11:11 wish the other night before the announcement. I wished for "fall out boy". I wasn't even wishing for something like "fall out boy live Manila!" just plain "fall out boy" and aaaaaahh this happened. Okay I probably don't make any sense at all but I'm really happy! After 4879327493 years of waiting they're back huhu. See you all there!

Anyway, Vampire Weekend has a new album! Modern Vampires of the City was released last May 6th, 2013, Monday. It is said that the "record's main themes are love and mortality and the lyrics contain darker literary allusions." 

Like I said in one of my previous blog posts, I love Vampire Weekend. I can't wait to have this on my iPod and listen to it 25/8. 

It's a great year for music, yeah? 

Secret Ceremonials

Being in the Philippines on the month of April may be considered "fun" and "adventurous" for others, especially if you're from a foreign country BUT (emphasis is necessary) for me, it has been very boring. Sure, it's already summer and I can now finally do anything like go out, explore places and eat out with friends. The exact opposite is happening and I feel like a loser at home with nothing to do. So like: 

People: Going to the beach tomorrow! 

Me: Oh my god I have to download this movie!

People: Movie later with friends...

Me: This album sounds great, I have to give it a full listen

People: *Insert foreign country here*!!! Flight tomorrow at 5 am, can't wait!

Me: *finished 5 seasons of a certain TV show* *finished 2 seasons of another TV show*  

Me: THIS T.V. SHOW IS RUINING MY LIFE UGH I LOVE THEM ALL!!!

Me: Oops it's 4 pm, time to listen to music and cry!!!

Me: I have to finish this book!!!

SEE? But okay, I admit, it's fun to wake up at 11 am. It's fun not hearing your alarm clock beeping. It's fun, fun, FUN. (I sound like an old man.)

Anyway, I've been reading quite a lot lately and I'm loving it because I've been feeling empty and illiterate lately, hahaha. 

(I'm sorry if this turns out to be bad but I'm trying.)

The Realm of Possibility by David Levithan

"One school. Twenty voices.

Endless possibilities.

There's the girl who is in love with Holden Caulfield. The boy who wants to be strong who falls for the girl who's convinced she needs to be weak. The girl who writes love songs for a girl she can't have. The two boys teetering on the brink of their first anniversary. And everyone in between."

The moment I read the name Holden Caulfield, I went crazy. You have no idea how much I love The Catcher in the Rye. I immediately searched google for a .pdf file and thank God, I found one. Praise the book gods. If you're into poetry and prose and all that jazz, this is the book for you. This book is consisted of five parts with four chapters, each representing a narrative form of story-telling. (Are my terms even accurate...)

This is the kind of book that make word-lovers swoon. I, myself, swooned. No shame. The author did a good job on combining the words and phrases.

If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin

"Throughout their whole childhood, Finn and Autumn were inseparable—they finished each other's sentences, they knew just what to say when the other person was hurting. But one incident in middle school puts them in separate social worlds come high school, and Autumn has been happily dating James for the last 2 years. But she's always wondered what if...

The night she's about to get the answer is also one of terrible tragedy."

(Published on April 1st, 2013)

I'm not yet done reading this book but if you're into a lot of surprises and and all that young adult craze, then you should give this a try. I'm /almost/ done and I'm loving the story and characters more and more. Especially Phineas U G H. Why can't fictional characters come to life? 

AND YES!!! This has been the highlight of my week and OH MY GOD MY FEELINGS. It all started yesterday when someone tweeted "Some Kind Of Wonderful!" And I kind of screamed because THAT MOVIE AHHHHH. You don't know how much I love that movie because 1.) It's MY life story (joke only, but yeah you get the picture); 2.) IT JUST GETS ME YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. So anyway I watched the movie and the pains of being a teenager with unstoppable hormones came back. This is movie is so perfect it made me cry I'm not even ashamed of it, OKAY. 

(Also my John Hughes phase came back. I don't know but somewhere between October to December I kind of worshipped him and there came a point in my life that I don't know anymore and so I would watch Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club to keep myself grounded. And then I would sing 80's songs out of nowhere and wow I think I'm doing that again? And then I had these dreams of having Molly Ringwald's style and face and Molly Ringwald's everything??? DO YOU FEEL ME.) 

But okay back to this legendary movie. 

UGH JESUS LOOK AT THE WAY KEITH LOOKS AT HER MY GOD THAT FACE COULD SAVE THE HUMANKIND.

You know that scene :-( When Watts drove them all around the town :-( Hahaha, I know. :-(  

So if you're wondering... yes this movie is the story of my life HAHAHA. I know so cheesy and sappy and sticky and romantic and I know right, so not me. But I'm going to repeat it again, this movie made me bawl like a freaking baby and I know it sounds corny but I have this feeling for old movies. I may be embarrassing myself here but... HAHAHA. OMG :-( 

This may be a boring summer but I'm spending it damn well. 

Biyernes Santo

Last Friday, my dad and I went to BGC to ~relax and unwind~. Also because Fully Booked hehe. We were surprised by the wide, unloaded road. There was literally no traffic and it felt so free. It kind of looked like a zombie apocalypse occurred. It was a very unusual sight because EDSA is this stressing strip of road filled with smoke-belching cars and all that polluting sight. Anyhoo, it was great because yay no traffic!

 We were surprised by the number of people strolling around the place. Little did we know that a solemnization of Holy Week is being held. BGC organized the whole place and they made it look like a museum of the life and death of Jesus. 

 This is the part wherein the place is filled with mirrors. People are asked to look at the mirrors and think about the fears that scare them or are scared to face. Pretty creative, though. 

From station five, I think.

 Alveo Corporation will plant trees! I think every strip of green cloth represents one tree. 

 This was probably the most genius ideas of all. People can actually share those pains with Jesus. I didn't try it, though. 

Station nine!

The red piece of cloth taken from the second station will be hammered in this big cross. It symbolizes our sins. 

These pieces of papers are all special prayers for the important people/loved ones.

I't's very nice to know that people haven't really forgotten about God. 

The con of this whole experience was the large number of people and the blazing heat. We weren't able to eat a nice dinner. We were so hungry we can't even function properly. We can't even get in since every. Single. Restaurant. Has. A. Freaking. Waiting. Line. Like, are you serious? But that was okay. At least I took a time out from everything else and at least I got to experience something different this holy week. 

If you're going to ask if we ever ate dinner that night, yes we did. We went all the way to Alabang to meet up with my family so we could eat a proper dinner. And thank the Lord heavens above, North Park was open. I was craving for Chinese food that time and I was so happy yayyyy. 

We then headed straight to Acacia Hotel to stay a bit longer with my cousins. This is my cousin Rian. She was asleep when we got there. Yes. 

And then we watched two episodes of Adventure Time. Only two because the parentals wanted to watch something different. Boo. 

  

The day practically ended and I felt productive. Fulfilled, even. I'm not that religious and prayerful but I do have faith in God. I'm glad I spent my holy week very well. I am very blessed to have my family. I hope you had a blessed holy week, too!