TWO STEPS FORWARD AND THREE STEPS BACK

Almost a year in college and we come down to this. Six pictures from my last day in my first year in college. Ten months of pure collegiate agony and bliss, both visible in every corner of my building. There's a million of moments I'd love to go back to, and another million I'd love to forget about. I still remember, from a few months back, how I dwelled so much on the itching fact that I am about to enter college; sweaty palms, seventeen years worth of so-not-ready neurons running crazy around my brain, and the massive amount of bodily fluids I greatly ignored because I didn't want to look like a lost person, frantically wiping her sweat off, searching for a companion. I wanted to be this independent snowflake who needs no one by her side to survive the impending horror of being a college student. 

I was wrong to think of it that way. I met new people and learned a great deal about them and I instantly called off my plan to ignore everyone. My friends have one of the most beautiful minds I've ever had the chance to hear ideas from, and I'm more than glad to be a part of that small group. I was a basket case the summer before school started, and I can definitely say that they did a great part on pulling me back up, with their small gestures of letting me know I'm a part of something greater than college and the summer I spent sulking around. 

When I was in my senior year in high school, I'd always zone out to the sound of my teachers discussing in front. I'd think about the year ahead of me, and the things I'd do once I enter college. I remember imagining the nights I'd wait for a bus to take me home, or walking around an unnamed university (because I was undecided of my future back then), and sitting on one of those benches preferably at the derelict part of the university because why not, right?  

It wasn't as dreamy and cinematic as what I expected it to be; it was an agonizing roller coaster of unwanted feelings and homework. But I had some ups, too. I spent a lot of time at the library, which was lovely because they have an impressive array of books (intentional nod at the Humanities section, thank you). I even had the chance to join a Journalism seminar for three days with my friends! There are a few of these moments I'd like to have photographic memories of, but everything seems memorable for me, good or shitty. From crying on the way home to the sound of my favorite sad song, to being a pure whack in Algebra. 

I am still bad at writing. I, if I'm being deadly honest, thought that I would become a better writer this year. But I'm stuck, and it makes me mad and extra sad with sad songs on the side. 

I've got nothing to give
Got no reason to live
But I will fight to survive
I've got nothing to hide
Wish I wasn't so shy

I fell in love with riding the train. I make mental notes everyday to leave the school at exactly 3:30 because the train isn't as crowded at this hour of the day. I found out that I am very fond of public transport, because looking out the windows as the train advances through a number of terminals will always be rewarding for my eyes. This also applies to all modes of transport, but taking the train always wins. 

Everyone deems their last day in something as this glorious event in their lives. Graduates, prisoners about to enjoy parole, employers about to quit their horrible jobs, etc. This one, with three years still void of anything, is a glorious beginning for me. I don't mind the extra shit storm I'm about to inhale for the next three years, as long as I am here. I thought a lot about transferring, but this place is more than enough. Missing everyone from around here is torturous--which is surprising because I never saw myself getting attached to people I used to have no acquaintance with. 

Ten months and we come down to six pictures, pretty enough to be here and to dwell upon.

Just One Yesterday

Okay so Fall Out Boy leaked (yes) their own album!!! I did not see THAT coming since the album will be out in  a few days. Seriously? I don't know maybe they're just really excited for the fans to hear it. I heard it already BUT, I stopped. I couldn't do it because 1) I pre-ordered the album; 2) It feels like cheating, if you know what I mean...; 3) ALL OF THE ABOVE. But being the obsessive-compulsive fan that I am, I listened to 6 songs. As of now my favorite is Just One Yesterday, Young Volcanoes, Alone Together and of course Save Rock and Roll. Props to Sir Elton John! (Two days before the official release of the album, HALLELUJAH!) 

Also, I read 7 books last week. Wow I have no life. Anyway, here they are:

• Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan
• The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
• I Conquer Britain by Dyan Sheldon
• Zombicorn by John Green
• The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight by Jennifer E. Smith
• The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan
• The Realm of Possibility by David Levitahn 

I went swimming with my second year classmates yesterday and I had lots of fun! Really. Even though I bumped my head on the slide real hard. (It really hurts okay, I almost cried.) It was gret because I finally get to swim and and be a mermaid aww. Also because I hung out with my friends hehe. 

I'm thankful for things like this. 

Your skin makes me Cry

 I went out with my friends yesterday because we were feeling sexy and free. Joke. Well this day-out is one of the bests because the destination is not ATC. We got tired of going to ATC. Kidding. We just wanted to do something different and we also just wanted to go somewhere... different. 

Anyhoo, we watched Burt Wonderstone and I swear I think I lost my morals while watching that movie. It was very funny. We were basically laughing the whole time. I definitely recommend you to watch it with your family, friends, your dog/s, or simply just by yourself. Because you can be magically be friends with yourself. *Winks*

I would like to thank Kate's fabulous mother, Ate Bhing for the transpo. Without her we would be nothing. I thank Jesus for her. I love you Ate Bhing. <3

 So we went out and then this happened. The sky looked so beautiful and we kept on joking around. "Parang kukunin na tayo ni Jesus." Well it felt like it because ahh, it looks so pretty and heaven-like. 

 As you all know, I'm a very big fan of clouds and the sea (if you read my blog regularly) (I hope you do, though). I fangirled the whole time because it was perfect. The weather was perfect, the sky was perfect, the people I was with were perfect.  I sound so cheesy but hey, it really felt perfect aww.

 The MOa Eye. Largest. ~"daw"~

 So beautiful ahh

 ~Obligatory picture-taking of my Chucks, by-the-bay version~

The day ended pretty well. I hope this happens again. (Glorietta naman next!)  (Sana)

The Weekend Warriors

Yesterday was filled with unexpected happenings and unplanned events, all thanks to Aaron and Lara. 

You know those movies with teenagers as the main protagonists? And the story is about this certain teenager stuck at home on a Saturday night with nothing to do. And one phone call changes it all. This literally happened to me yesterday. The original plan was to wait for Sam in ATC so we could go to Lara's place right after her game in Ayala. My dad dropped me off at around 12 pm and I strolled around for a while since I had nothing else to do. Then I headed straight to Jamba Juice because 1) they have wifi; 2) I want steel-cut oatmeal and 3) THEY HAVE WIFI! So I stayed there for a while. I was kind of frustrated because their wifi just kind of stopped working while I was busy doing "something". So I proceeded on reading Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. 

Then Lara called and bam, things happened. They arrived 20 minutes (or so) after the call (Happy Birthday Aaron!). So we stayed there for a good one hour. And then Lara and I talked to Gab Mesina huhu. She's like the blogging goddess and Sam, Lara and I worship her. She said hi to me and Lara and I can't help but fangirl because she spelled my name right, even though it's obvious that she could've copied my name BUT STILL. SHE SPELLED MY NAME RIGHT!

Anyway, I convinced Jeromy to join us instead of finishing his Filipino thesis. I am such a bad friend. So we left Jamba Juice and waited for Jesse to arrive and we are now a company of four. Thirty minutes after, Jeromy arrived and YAY FOR FOOD! We ate at Shakey's and had a good time talking about everything and sharing our corny jokes. Sam arrived from Yellow Cab. Then she left Shakey's again. The she came back. It's like a pizza joint field trip for Sam, I swear. 

We went to Topman so Aaron could buy a shirt for himself. And it felt so rad because earlier that day, we went to Topman and the song was Next Year by Two Door Cinema Club. And when we came back, the same song was playing. I swear this is a sign. And we wandered around Nike, Sebago and Metro. I swear there were a lot of things like: The Seluma (just think about Sebago being old and ugly and you'll get it), the doppelganger floor, "Lining" and many many more. Inside jokes are the best huhu. (Not entirely sure if I arranged our adventure in a chronological manner but whatever, I had fun.)

Aaron and Jesse had to leave aww. So we group hugged while walking to the escalator. I'm not really sure if people were staring but I think they were because we looked weird, walking while we were in a huddle. Aaron's mom was so sweet and nice hehe. Sam, Lara, Jeromy and I were the only ones who stayed so we decided to go to Topshop. And then Jeromy and I looked at the lacy panties. It was very awkward. And then this shirt with a rocket ship. And then I tried this white dress on huhu. It looks pretty but it was very pricey. Plus, I think I won't use it often since I'm not a big fan of dresses. Sad. 

The day ended and so we headed over to Lara's. The song Mr. Brightside by The Killers would be a very good song to describe our adventure. Runaway also by The Killers and Young Blood by The Naked and Famous would be a great soundtrack for our day out. I swear I had all the feels because I felt happy in an accidental way. One moment I'm in a juice joint reading something and then bam, I'm with good friends. I love this day. 

I don't have decent pictures so I stole this from Sam and Lara ehehe:

 (don't mind me on the third picture huhu I look horrible ew)

I hope this is not the last. I would love to hang out with the same people again. I hope you had a great Saturday, too! I am so blessed to have these weirdoes as my best friends hihi.
_________________________________________________________________
We went straight to Lara's place and watched a movie. Geek Charming it is. And then we stalked people on facebook HAHAHA. I guess we were really tired because we slept pretty early. Which isn't normal because we would normally sleep at around 2 or 3 am. We slumped at around 1. I don't know. I was the first one to wake up and guess what, Lara and Sam were still asleep and I was very hungry huhu. 
And so when they awoke, we ate lunch and watched Ruby Sparks. Too bad I had to leave early. We bought some milk tea and then this happened:

God bless these people. 

Thank Nigella and Jamie

Today was great because I got to express myself freely. Kidding. Well, we did our Chemistry PT (is it a PT?)! Our groups were assigned to cook something for the judges. I don't know the relevance between the subject and all the cooking but I had tons of fun chopping the garlic and stirring the creamy sauce. Also, it was my first time to cry while chopping the onion. It's true. It is not a myth. Onions DO make you cry. 

Anyway, my group thought of having sansrival for dessert and carbonara for the main course. I was the one who thought of making carbonara because 1) it's my favorite and; 2) all of the above. I was going crazy the whole day because of excitement and anxiety. Excitement because I LOVE COOKING. Anxiety because... What if the carbonara turned out to be bland and soggy and plain and tasteless and just plain bland, right? Fortunately, the odds were in our favor. The sauce I made was very creamy and tasty! My classmates loved it huhu God bless everything. 

Aaron being himself.

The said ~creamy~ sauce. My group mates loved it. Actually my classmates loved it. Another unexpected reaction.

The finished product looks very messy but trust me, it's very good. (Okay I know you don't trust me because on the looks of it, it doesn't look appetizing AT ALL). 

After the very eventful cooking event, the day turned out to be dull but very productive. We had our practice for the English PT and voila, I took some photos because the view looked very, very nice with the sun glinting against the leaves and the buildings. I absolutely loved it. 

 Aaron and KC pretending to be busy hahaha. 

Then we headed over to the tennis court to see how Vianca was doing hehehe.

 I hope you had a great Tuesday, too! 

Long Live

I never really got the chance to blog before 12 midnight, but it doesn't matter. I just really felt the need to say this because this deserves a blog post. 

(PHOTO OVERLOAD)

I am thankful for all the things that happened to me this year. May it be good or bad, at least I earned something. I don't what that "something" is, but I know it's there. The people around me never fail to make me a better (and sexier JOKE) person. From the "last year's wishes are this year's apologies" Fall Out Boy craze to the "maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year" All Time Low ruckus. (I sound gay???)

Exactly a year ago, January 3, I had a haircut. My hair was so short. I don't know what's the relevance but I regretted my decision of cutting my hair. I somewhat looked like my four-year-old self because of my hair-do. Everyone was ~shocked~ because...hair. And I hated it. I hate what my hair looked like and most importantly I hated what my face looked like. I'm like a hybrid between an  siomai and a siopao and a marshmallow which made me look stupid. But my hair grew longer over a year so everything is normal now and nothing hurts heeeeeee.

Last year was also filled with surprises. Literal surprises. My best friend, Sam, loves surprising people and just my luck, she always drags me around with her. Surprising people is very tiring and it's full of stress but it's fun. And the biggest surprise was when my batch won the cheering competition! We weren't really champions but we felt like real winners because we were 2nd place and the higher level is only 3rd. I sound mean, right? But it was a glorious moment for my batch. Of course the Seniors are the champions but we still felt cool and great and all the positive adjectives you could think of. And then I went to Makati with my friends to celebrate like real winners teehee.

February was a very important month for me because LIV5!!! Sam and I went together which was very overwhelming because it's my very first concert with her (I wasn't with Sam during LIV3 aww.) I felt great because my favorite bands got to play live in Manila and I can't believe my eyes!!! I saw The Summer Set, The Ready Set, A Rocket to the Moon, FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS and A+ Dropouts live!!! It was one hell of a show, especially because I was with my best friend weee.

March was... depressing. And frustrating. I hate talking about this because whenever I think about it, all I want to do is punch myself because of the guilt, hate and regret. REGRETS. So here's the story (there goes my heart): Sam and I weren't planning on seeing The Maine's second show here in Manila because 1) we have no money and 2) we have no chance (GOD IT'S REALLY PAINFUL TO THINK OF.) So we decided to go to their hotel--Discovery Suites, in Ortigas. We arrived there and the lobby was already full of hopeful fans waiting for the band and hoping for an autograph or a picture or, if they're lucky enough, a radical conversation with them plus a big hug. Me and Sam were expecting the same. We tried and tried to get past the security guards since we're not allowed inside. Finally because of my ninja skills, we got in. In fact the people outside kind of got in because of me because I opened the door with all my might while the guard wasn't looking and when I signaled Sam to go with me, the people behind us followed, too! Cool beans. So we got inside. We went around the building. Hell, we even got to the breakfast hall and the 42nd floor (where their conference was held!!!). So to make all less painful, yes, we did not see them. Not even a shadow, not even a strand of hair, not even a speck of their entire being. 

In short, we got home disappointed and frustrated and mad and furious and regretful and sad and JUST SAD. On a lighter note, summer vacation!!!

April was all about vacation and the beach. I went to Enchanted Kingdom with my classmates and it was a very eventful day for me. I got to spend a very long time with them and also, I rode the Space Shuttle for the very first time! It was scary because the moment we were on the loop, I felt my insides churning and it's like my whole being is being pulled over by a lever or something. But what really got me was the thrill, which makes me want to to come back for more! Definitely doing that again in the next future.  My dad and I went to Cagayan De Oro and killed time seeing places and eating and eating and just eating. I tried scuba diving, too! It was so fun! I got to see the ~underwater wonders~ and it made me so proud of our country for having such vast wonders hehe. 

May was pretty uneventful but we went to Caramoan. It was a nice place but the means of transportation of going there is pretty...stressing....but it was nice, like I said.

JUNE IS ABOUT BIRTHDAYS AND ME. I spend my birthday every June and my fifteenth birthday was spent wise and simple. My mom sent me flowers and my dad gave me a book as a gift. We ate good food--RIBS AND RIBS AND RIBS! Also Sam's birthday. She just turned fourteen. Well my best friend is growing up so fast. She's getting older. I hope she becomes taller~~

Also the concerts~ I saw We are The In Crowd+This Century+Set Your Goals live!!! yayyyyy

July & August-pretty uneventful. I love August because there was this one time we had no classes for a whole week hehehe. ALSO THE FACT THAT I'M COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS TIL SEPTEMBER 29 BECAUSE I WON A MEET & GREET WITH THE MAINE!!! I wasn't really expecting to win so when I found out I lay down and and jumped and cried tears of joy and scratched my face and pulled my hair and screamed. Pretty much.

SEPTEMBER 29 & 30 CAME AND OH MY GOD. Bazooka Rocks Fest!!! I met The Maine and YEAH. AND THEN THE NEXT DAY CAME! It was the best concert I've been to huhu. I cried a lot of tears that day because I wasn't able to contain myself and my happiness cannot be explained. I myself cannot believe it, either. My whole being cannot believe it. I completely lost it. I forgot about everything, every problem and just everything. 

This is DEFINITELY my favorite part of the year. I even like this better than my birthday hehe. I wasn't sad anymore. I was happy and complete and I felt contained. Really.

So that's it. That's definitely my highlight. But wait. My 2012 wouldn't be complete without these and I'm very thankful to have them in my life. I know I won't lose them this 2013 since I know these people will stay and be a part of my life. I sound so cheesy huhu. But anyway, they mean a lot to me and I hope I mean a lot to them, too. 

 I may or may not have forgot to upload some photos with other people but that's not important. I'm thankful to have all these people and I hope 2013 for them will be great because they're my friends. Not all of my friends' pictures are here but while I'm writing this down, they're on my mind and I'm silently hugging them for making my 2012 awesome.

Also:

 This was the very first carbonara I made in my whole, entire existence. I was very proud of myself. Definitely a highlight.

 Retreat. This wishing fountain or whatever you call it made me think about everything. 

 I've read this novel since 2010 and of course, I wouldn't let 2012 pass by without re-reading this again. I just can't.

 Hands down for this book. 

I've read a lot of amazing novels last year and all of them have a special place in my heart. Sam thing with movies. There are lots and lots of them, I might run out of words to describe them all. 

Friendly reminders from The Maine. 

2012 was definitely the best year for me...yet. I would definitely look back on this year and remind myself that not all things are horrible. 

Here's to 2012

2012 deserves a fist in the air from Bender.