TWO STEPS FORWARD AND THREE STEPS BACK

Almost a year in college and we come down to this. Six pictures from my last day in my first year in college. Ten months of pure collegiate agony and bliss, both visible in every corner of my building. There's a million of moments I'd love to go back to, and another million I'd love to forget about. I still remember, from a few months back, how I dwelled so much on the itching fact that I am about to enter college; sweaty palms, seventeen years worth of so-not-ready neurons running crazy around my brain, and the massive amount of bodily fluids I greatly ignored because I didn't want to look like a lost person, frantically wiping her sweat off, searching for a companion. I wanted to be this independent snowflake who needs no one by her side to survive the impending horror of being a college student. 

I was wrong to think of it that way. I met new people and learned a great deal about them and I instantly called off my plan to ignore everyone. My friends have one of the most beautiful minds I've ever had the chance to hear ideas from, and I'm more than glad to be a part of that small group. I was a basket case the summer before school started, and I can definitely say that they did a great part on pulling me back up, with their small gestures of letting me know I'm a part of something greater than college and the summer I spent sulking around. 

When I was in my senior year in high school, I'd always zone out to the sound of my teachers discussing in front. I'd think about the year ahead of me, and the things I'd do once I enter college. I remember imagining the nights I'd wait for a bus to take me home, or walking around an unnamed university (because I was undecided of my future back then), and sitting on one of those benches preferably at the derelict part of the university because why not, right?  

It wasn't as dreamy and cinematic as what I expected it to be; it was an agonizing roller coaster of unwanted feelings and homework. But I had some ups, too. I spent a lot of time at the library, which was lovely because they have an impressive array of books (intentional nod at the Humanities section, thank you). I even had the chance to join a Journalism seminar for three days with my friends! There are a few of these moments I'd like to have photographic memories of, but everything seems memorable for me, good or shitty. From crying on the way home to the sound of my favorite sad song, to being a pure whack in Algebra. 

I am still bad at writing. I, if I'm being deadly honest, thought that I would become a better writer this year. But I'm stuck, and it makes me mad and extra sad with sad songs on the side. 

I've got nothing to give
Got no reason to live
But I will fight to survive
I've got nothing to hide
Wish I wasn't so shy

I fell in love with riding the train. I make mental notes everyday to leave the school at exactly 3:30 because the train isn't as crowded at this hour of the day. I found out that I am very fond of public transport, because looking out the windows as the train advances through a number of terminals will always be rewarding for my eyes. This also applies to all modes of transport, but taking the train always wins. 

Everyone deems their last day in something as this glorious event in their lives. Graduates, prisoners about to enjoy parole, employers about to quit their horrible jobs, etc. This one, with three years still void of anything, is a glorious beginning for me. I don't mind the extra shit storm I'm about to inhale for the next three years, as long as I am here. I thought a lot about transferring, but this place is more than enough. Missing everyone from around here is torturous--which is surprising because I never saw myself getting attached to people I used to have no acquaintance with. 

Ten months and we come down to six pictures, pretty enough to be here and to dwell upon.

Taxi Driver (1976)

!!!! AB WEEK !!!!

If it weren't for the late announcements regarding the event, our section could have prepared earlier and have a better-looking theme! Anyway, I was appointed to be photographer along with my block mates slash good friends Care and Star. It was super fun to be ~the girl behind the camera~ because I saw everyone's true colors under the sun!!! Everyone was sweating profusely and some were growing quite anxious, wanting for the parade to start already. But everyone was such in a good mood that morning!!! I guess the anxiety caused by the heat was temporary, because everyone was basically laughing and chanting things the whole time!!! I loved this day so much because I got to Bond With My Block Mates and also I got to take really great photos~~~~~

I can't get over how the colors looked so great under the sun WAH. They look so vibrant, like it was taken from a studio--but a better one, with the sun as the light. I don't know what I did with my camera that day but it was very magical, I loved the results (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ

MY TWO LOVELY FRIENDS, JAY AND KATH (づ￣ ³￣)づ Too bad we don't have a picture together, aw.

HELLO THIS IS MY VERY GOOD CHELSEY!!! She, along with Julia, are basically my go-to friends when it comes to pop culture, films, books, TV series and music. 

This is Julia as Anne Frank *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟCheck her blog out here! 

The only decent photo I have of the whole section while in costume!!! ~this is us~ 

It was a success, all in all, considering the fact that we crammed for the preparations--again, because we weren't informed on time HEH. But we had lots of fun, nonetheless!!! We weren't even rooting for the cash price for the best section; we pushed it for the sake of joining the parade and I'm just ヾ(✿❛◡❛)ノ so proud ヾ(✿❛◡❛)ノ

color and cinematography

I went on a Wes Anderson binge last December because two weeks before the aforementioned affair with his films, I decided to have Margot Tenenbaum's haircut. So I googled potential hairdos and I somehow came across with the Wes Anderson color palettes. I love how hued and precise the palettes are, which speaks to how the movie was either shot abundant with color or is moderate on the chroma; but I loved every film regardless of the color scheme!!! 

I've decided that Wes Anderson is my favorite filmmaker, alongside Sofia Coppola and Bernardo Bertolucci.

Also, I decided to leave my long hair; maybe next time.

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

I really love Margot's characters that I am willing to chop my hair off just to don her straight bob. But I have wavy hair so maybe not... sad face. 

(Speaking of Margot, Gwyneth Paltrow is going to be on a movie called Mortdecai and I can't help but think of Richie Tenenbaum and his bird, Mordecai. Funny how I think the producers made it on purpose AND how gullible the idea is to think about because it's just a coincidence.) (Or not.) (Still hoping for the best, though.) 

 The color palettes also catch the shade of their skin tones, it's amazing. 

The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

I love how Jason Schwartzmann's roles on almost every Wes Anderson film depict a mischievous boy longing for something. 

I love movies that start with a dysfunctional relationship between parties but is cultivated to make it an *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟadaptive alliance between the characters *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ

This is my favorite Wes Anderson film! I think my adulation for the color blue did the job. The movie also made it clear that the Indian culture will prosper; the Indian funeral was very interesting!!!

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

THE ANIMATION OF THIS MOVIE IS WORTH OGLING OVER FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. It's very compelling how they made it work, because stop-motion features take a lot of time. They look very cartoony and it's amazing how the other props--the houses, the factories, food, etc.--look very real with a hint of a children's book style (well, duh, it's based on a children's book). 

Also I can't stop thinking about George Clooney. 

Look at this law firm. It's so real and cartoony at the same time. 

I want these as a toy so I could keep them!!! So cute ;___;

My favorite parts were the moving-in to the treehouse and the grocery store scene. Yes, it's because of the intricately designed settings and colors WAH.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) 

This is also my favorite, alongside The Darjeeling Limited!!! And yes, I already talked about this movie on this post--in which I embarrassed myself on the worldwide web by having poor construction of words and trying too hard to sound like an expert. I was practicing my journalistic credibility, but I failed. NOTHING BUT A SECOND-RATE TRYING HARD seventeen-year-old girl with frizzy hair. 

why not try it all?

I honestly feel bad for not having decent posts from 2014 to look back on, so I'll try to make this one worth reading (although my subconscious tells me only two or three people actually read my blog and that includes me). 

I only had seventeen posts from 2014 and it's such a small number compared to the actual adventures I had, the books I read, the movies I've seen, the new music I discovered, and the friends I made. Anyway, just like any other new year's resolution list, I keep telling myself to do these more:

• Read: I always find myself longing for all the books I want to read and re-read. I've recently just updated my goodreads account after ignoring it for months. I don't know  if I decidedly ignored it or if I had most of my time dedicated to studying and sleeping. I plan to read a hundred books (or more) before this year ends; I want to cultivate and improve my grammar!!! I downloaded sixty (more or less) e-books on my iPad to get ready for my goal this 2015. But it gets tough because the glare of the screen is killing my eyes and I get astigmatism attacks every now and then!!! So yes, another plan of mine is to save more money for books (and a new bookshelf). 

• Write: I have friends who are such great writers and I can't help but feel like a stranger whenever I read their writings, formal or not. I'm such a sucker for people who could write very well; it inspires me to do better and to write more. I've been meaning to write a lot about the things around me, but I can't find the drive--and I hate myself for thinking that I have to find the drive ("That is such bullshit!") to be able to write. I learned that if you really have the roaring hunger to write, you will write amidst everything, be it bad or very bad. Reading reviews on goodreads has been a hobby of mine for so long and reading other people's book reviews give me such hope and the motivation to write more like them. I'm a journalism student and I still find myself crawling in the dark whenever I try to write something satirical and poetic; it's kind of embarrassing. So here's to a year of trying (and succeeding, I hope). 

• Take more pictures: I've always been a big fan of photographs and as a thirteen-year-old girl, I dreamed of having my own camera. I had two digital cameras before I landed myself in a DSLR (thanks to my mother). This year, I'll try to bring my camera everyday and take photos of everything and everyone. Then maybe formulate a story from every picture I took. That's a very interesting thing to do, since I like forming stories in my head; from the people I see on the bus on my way to school, the buildings, the roads, everything. Also, my goal for this year is to print my own photographs! (Another reason for me to save more). 

• Do more art: Summer 2014 has been the longest and most productive summer for me, despite the lack of adventures offered by the outside world. I fell in love with watercolor and went back to sketching. School stopped me from creating more, but I have been mapping out some plans to improve my time management!!! My best friend and I have had plans of selling stickers for so long now, you don't even know. I decided that painting the designs myself would be much cooler because watercolored pictures look really pretty. But I somehow failed because I have been uninspired lately, and I hate copying other people's style, lol. SO, YES FOR ART BECAUSE ART MAKES ME HAPPY.

I have more plans for this 2015 but no one really cares OMG LET'S BE HONEST. But for this year, I plan to practice empathy more often, listen to what everyone has to say, and do everything I can to be happy (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ 

I've been obsessing over this song for a week now! I chose the underwater tea party scene from the movie Somewhere (2010) because I loved how I was watching the movie and thought about sitting down, doing nothing and being happy. Also because I think the song speaks so much about *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟlife *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ
Happy New Year!!!